In a highly emotive interview with BBC Radio 5 live, Tasha Danvers recently divulged some of her most personal life stories.
The 36-year-old tried to balance pregnancy, motherhood and marriage, and two years ago, reached the lowest point in her life when she contemplated suicide.
Danvers, now retired, was an accomplished British 400 metre hurdles runner when, in 2004, she was faced with a pivotal decision.
27-years-old at the time, Danvers was in peak fitness when she fell pregnant a few months prior to the 2004 Athens Olympics.
In turmoil at the time, the ex-hurdler had to choose between Olympic glory, or motherhood.
“I could almost touch my dream of becoming an Olympic medallist, ” Danvers spoke.
“But I couldn ‘t [go through with the termination] and I just broke down crying because that meant I was giving up on my dream. “
The ex-athlete sobbed as she was forced watch her 2004 Olympic dreams disperse at home, while her husband at the time, Darrell Smith, pursued his dream of going as a coach.
“I knew that if I went through with the abortion I wouldn ‘t recover well emotionally and, as an athlete, your whole self needs to be in good shape; emotionally, physically and mentally,” Danvers explained.
“If I was ruined emotionally, I probably wouldn ‘t perform well anyway. As hard as it was, I had to do what felt right for me. “
At the time, Danvers was criticised by some who thought she wouldn’t make a return to competitive athletics. She certainly proved them wrong, though.
Seven months after giving birth to her son, Jaden, Danvers made a return to competition, and by 2006 regained her form to win silver at the Commonwealth Games.
One year later, she reached the final in the Osaka World Championships, but the best was yet to come.
At 30-years-old, and in another Olympic year, the hurdler reached the best shape of her career.
The 2008 Beijing Olympics saw Danvers fulfill her dream of picking up an elusive medal, as she ran herself into bronze medal position, with a personal best of 53.84 seconds.
It appeared everything was back on track for the Briton, but Danvers’ marriage soon took a turn for the worst after she divorced her husband.
Despite her passion for the sport “dying out,” Danvers returned to England with her son, with London 2012 in her sights.
In December, 2010, a trip back to America resulted in a downward spiral for the ex-athlete: “At Christmas we went back to the US to visit Jaden ‘s family and he said ‘I want to stay in LA ‘
“Then I knew it was time for him to go back to the US and I definitely underestimated how that would make me feel.”
Persistent injuries and a broken heart took its toll, and several months later, Danvers reached rock bottom.
Already on anti-depressants, the former hurdler tried to take her life on Thursday, June 23, 2011.
“I had been prescribed sleeping tablets because I had insomnia and I took every one I could find. I tried to communicate with my boyfriend at the time. He noticed something was wrong, and the next thing I knew the ambulance was there and I woke up in hospital,” she revealed.
“If I had Jaden they probably would have taken him but, probably, if I had Jaden, I wouldn ‘t have been there in the first place. “
After her traumatic experience, Danvers returned to Los Angeles to be with her son, a move that gave her back the rest of her life.
Within eight months of the move she was off her anti-depressants, and life looked good again for the Olympic medallist.
However, in June, 2012, Danvers was forced to quit the sport due to re-occurring injures, and her Olympic ambitions were over.
Her running career might have been finished, but the joy her son gives her will survive much, much longer.
“Sometimes I can ‘t believe he ‘s actually mine, ” she spoke elated.
“It ‘s hard to be a mother. Full stop. If you ‘re a working mum, it ‘s that much harder, and if you ‘re a professional athlete and a mum you have the added pressure of being away for weeks and months. It ‘s very difficult, not just for you but for your child, who also has to sacrifice time with you.
“I think we did a good thing. I ‘m proud of him. He wants to be a runner, by the way. I ‘ve told him we need to talk about that one. “
